I have two cats. They are the worst audience ever. They just look at me with empty eyes, slowly wagging their tails in disapproval. The same goes for my girlfriend.
When I was born I was not destined to be a stand-up comedian. Stand-up comedy was not even a thing yet, or at least not as we know it now.
I grew up to be a great disappointment to my parents. Whatever you are in life, better be great at it. My parents wanted me to be anything but a stand-up comedian. The joke’s on them. Here I am, telling jokes for a living. A meager one at that, but one I’d like to live if I wasn’t living it already.
Here is some information about me you might or might not find interesting, useful, entertaining, amusing, funny, enlightening, appropriate, curious, and/or laxative:
I have an ample vocabulary, but I seldom boast about it.
I believe in reincarnation, mostly because my life is way too funny and I’m sure there are going to be reruns of it for future generations. Enjoy, kids!
I started doing stand-up because I thought people would listen to my problems and laugh about them. Sadly, I was right. Even sadder, I seem to be unable to run out of material.
I never thought doing stand-up would bring me fame, money, or frequent casual sex. Sadly again, I was right.
I enjoy teaching things. It makes me feel like a teacher. Teachers are good. Teachers have dreams. Teachers usually drive old Corollas. I dream of being able to afford a Corolla one day…
In all my years doing stand-up, I bombed only once, from April 14th, 2017 to May 22nd of the same year. We don’t talk about that…
I wrote a book about stand-up. It’s actually a manual for people starting this rewarding hobby. Yes, it’s a hobby, remember I warned you about the lack of money…
You can find me at open mics all across South Florida, from Brickel in Miami-Dade county to Ft. Lauderdale in Broward county. I’m what is known in the stand-up industry as a stage-whore.
I have no regrets.
I regret not having started doing stand-up earlier in life.
I tend to be prolix. (That vocabulary…)
I talk fast and with an accent. Heck, I even write with an áccént!
Now you know more about me than my mom, and boy she’s nosy!
Enjoy the manual, read it at your own pace, and remember to have fun while reading it.
If you have questions, email me at [email protected]
It might take me a minute to reply, but I will.